One morning last week I opened the fridge to get the milk and found that the entire bottle of maple syrup had spilled and had covered the bottom shelf in a sticky pool of mess. This discovery was made with ten minutes to get Nicholas fed, teeth brushed, and on to the school bus. Needless to say spilled syrup was the last thing I needed. I yanked at the milk jug (now almost) cemented to the fruit and vegetable drawer and almost started to cry as big, gloppy blobs of syrup dripped from the jug as I carried the milk across the kitchen to the table and filled the cereal bowls. My house is messy enough as it is. I don't need these kind of complications that just make it worse."Do you know anything about this?" I asked Nicholas.
Of course he did. A couple of days before (what? The syrup had been slowly pooling for TWO DAYS and I hadn't noticed?!?!) Nicholas had tried to make himself a snack (cereal with syrup on top) and hadn't known how to properly seal the bottle (it has a fancy, old-fashioned lid). And then the syrup had somehow tipped over.
I know it's digusting, but I decided to ignore the syrup (on the floor and in the fridge) for a little while longer. The bus! We had to go. But after lunch we went grocery shopping and before I could put anything away I knew the syrup would need to be cleaned up. I had to deal with the mess. Nicholas was on his way to the playroom.
I could just clean up the syrup myself, I thought, it would take ten - maybe twenty - minutes of hard labour. Not much time, really. But then, I thought, this is an opportunity for Nicholas to learn - to grow! - and to come to an understanding of natural consequences. So I called him back and braced myself for imminent whining and complaining and yelling.
"Nicholas, before you go off to play we're going to clean up the syrup in the fridge together." I stood looking at him like a deer in the headlights - paralyzed - unsure of what to do next. I was ready for the onslaught of something horrible. But instead he just said, "Okay, mom."
We filled up a mixing bowl with dish soap. I showed Nicholas how to wring out his rag and mop up the syrup. We mopped and rinsed, and mopped and rinsed again. And then he stopped wringing out the rag. "I want it to be really watery," he said. Slopping masses of water now lay around the bowl and the interior of the fridge looked like a muddy, brown pond. I could feel myself beginning to grumble. What a mess! It was almost worse than the syrup. I wanted to grab his rag and swat him. Just looking at the water sloshing everywhere made me want to scream! Why on earth couldn't he just do what I wanted him to do?
But then I remembered my plan at the outset of this month. No more tantrums. Time to be a big girl, Kristin. You're trying to grow. You're trying to change. You have a choice: transcend or regress. That still, small voice inside of me was calling out amidst the storm: ""reach for joy, lassie! You're going down without it! It's all you've got! Reach for joy like it's all you've got to hang on to!"
Time for a deep breath. I asked Nicholas to grab a towel to soak up the water, which he did. And I took a good look at him, scrubbing the fridge. The water and the non-wringing of the rag was just him really getting into it: having fun and still getting the job done. He was clearly enjoying himself and there was an aura of pride about him; engaged as he was in such an adult job. I had to admit to myself that it wasn't so bad, working along beside him. I had snagged a front row seat at his show of capability, responsibility, and independence. And that's when I felt it: the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart.
It didn't stay, but that moment was enough to make me feel ten feet taller, spiritually speaking. Anyways, spiritual growth is always a work in progress; just a series of small successes that gradually accumulate beyond our big failures and make us into the people we were created to be in the first place.
Next month I'm going to focus on love, which means my challenge is to try to be conscious of all the opportunities I get moment by moment to choose to be loving or to show love to my family.
But before then, there'll be on more post on JOY.
