I assume that if you're reading this blog, you go to church. And why do you go? If you're like me you go for a whole bunch of reasons, my number one reason being that, having gone to church, I just feel better - it's like exercise for the soul.
I also go to church to be transformed; I want to be the best version of me that I possibly can be, hokey as that may sound. At the moment, traits like peacefulness and compassion don't come naturally to me, depending on the circumstances, and I don't like that about myself. I think the ultimate goal of being a part of a community of faith and taking on a set of spiritual practices is a transformation of the heart. I want my heart to blossom and grow in the fruit of the Spirit. I think Jesus achieved this kind of transformation. Virtues like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control just oozed out of him and I'd like that for myself.
Traditional practices of Christian spirituality - practices like reading scripture, praying, attending worship, fasting, calling ourselves to account through confession, and offering radical hospitality - are meant to open our hearts and minds to Spirit so that transformation can take place. But most of these practices require a consistency and time commitment that many parents can't give. So what do you do when you want to practice your faith (because you want to be transformed) but the traditional tools of spirituality just don't mesh with the reality of your life right now? As a parent any spiritual practice I take up needs to be flexible and adaptable to the needs of my family.
In my first post I shared the story of the night I behaved really badly towards my children. The only good to come out of that night was the revelation that absolutely every interaction I have with my children held within it the potential for the kind of transformation I had been looking to receive through traditional spiritual practice. I realized that - with a little perspective and a lot of discipline - I could actively choose to grow the fruits of the Spirit in my heart. The way in which I engaged with my children gave me every opportunity to be more loving or kind or gentle. It turned out that Transformation was right there waiting for me - in my kitchen.
So this is what I've decided to do: every month I'm going to focus on one fruit of the Spirit - one Christian virtue that I'd like to have more of in my heart. As I go about my day I'm going to look for opportunities to invite that spiritual "fruit" into my actions and intentions and responses to whatever gets thrown at me. My hope: to be the best me I can be and to grow more like Christ, who seemed to have these virtues at his fingertips. And ultimately I guess I hope - like any beauty queen, politician, or bleeding heart activist worth their salt - to make my little corner of the world a bit more loving and joyful and peaceful and generous and faithful as a result. Of course, I'm also doing this because I want these virtues to be as close to a part of my children's DNA as possible and any parenting resource will tell you that example is the best teacher.
So here I go...off to sow some seeds and grow some fruit.... This month I'm looking to grow in JOY. I will choose to be joyful; I'll laugh more with my kids; I'll rely on humour to diffuse testy situations; I'll notice how full and happy I feel with the joy of motherhood!
Needless to say how easy it is to have the best intentions when it's 2a.m. and there's no one around to "bother" me. We'll just have to see how "joyful" I am when the kids wake me up in a few hours...
