This week I decided not to sign up my children for swimming lessons. Fear not for their souls; they're still doing piano, ballet, soccer, brownies, cubs, x-country running and choir.
I was fully planning on signing them up for swimming. I had diligently picked up a copy of the Parks and Rec guide, located our local pool, noted the date and time of the appropriate classes - but on Wednesday morning (sign-up day) I couldn't bring myself to sign them up.
It turns out this year that our Tuesday nights are completely free which, I had originally thought, would work out well for swimming lessons. But when I looked at my calendar a little more closely I realized that making time for swimming would mean lost time on other activities. I've been wanting the kids to cook supper once a week, for example, and an evening without any activities to rush off to would give me the time to supervise. And then there is the time they play with the neighbourhood kids. When an evening is "free" it can actually be spent playing soccer or swinging on the monkey bars.
I've been thinking about Gentleness; how I'd like to invite Gentleness into my home, maybe make some space so she could stay awhile, but looking at the calendar I see we have been inadvertently entertaining Harshness for years now and that we haven't had much time or space for Gentleness. Gentleness, it turns out, is one of those guests who asks a lot of us and doesn't coexist well with Harshness or anyone who is rushed and fussed. Invite her over and you'll see what I mean: try speak kindly to your loved ones when you're late for that evening class you tried to cram in, or try to make time for a grandparent in a nursing home when every weekend afternoon is booked, or try to enjoy the mundane, or to patiently teach an intangible value when you're simultaneously shoving kids out the door to swimming lessons...it can't be done.
So I've opted to keep Tuesday nights free in our house. I'm hoping it means we'll have time for unexpected visitors.
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